HAHAHA!

In a move of government oppression we can sort of get behind, Iran's culture ministry has banned a number of men's haircuts including the mullet and other "decadent Western cuts." What else is deemed illegally unstylish?

Pony tails and elaborate spikes are also deemed immodest, so aging rockers and the cast of Jersey Shore should probably stay out of Tehran for awhile. There is actually a guide to which styles are now acceptable for male citizens. The catalog will be unveiled later this month at the Modesty and Veil Festival, which we wish was something we made up for comedy but is, in fact, a real actual event. Acceptable 'dos seem short and boring, however Elvis-style pompadours, retro '80s bangs, and short spikes are on the list. A new addition to the code is the goatee, which was once frowned upon but is now OK, a change probably due to the country's love of '90s movies starring Ben Affleck (that we made up). In recent years, several Iranian barbershops have been shut down for offering "Western" styles like the mullet. We wish we could get a similar law on the books.